


blinded by the light

by SORD



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Kismesis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SORD/pseuds/SORD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>karkat vantas is not great at song lyrics, and feferi peixes is a fashion disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blinded by the light

**Author's Note:**

> the soundtrack to this fic: <http://youtu.be/OlBifX0H3yg>

Is she wearing Troll Uggs?

Holy fuck, she’s wearing Troll Uggs. Like that’s still a thing people do. Troll Uggs and an asymmetrical hemline skirt. Fuck his hot life, this bitch is wearing Troll Uggs, a skirt, and no leggings. There’s nothing good or pure left in the word.

Except.

Except something is catching his eye.

Except something god damn FLASHED in his eye.

Sequins?

Sequins from

SEQUINS FROM

SEQUINS FROM HER GOD DAMN FUCKING SHITTHINKPANNED DUMBGRUB LUSUSPAILING GLITTERY SEQUINED UGGS.

This is the worst thing possible. There is nothing conceived in Heaven or Hell that could possibly trump these stumpcovers. They are garish, they are tacky, they are painful to look at - both aesthetically and physically. They stun the ocular orbs. For a moment, he’s blinded by the light; then, suddenly, he’s wrapped up like a douche.

Her arms are chilly, damp, and gross in myriad other ways. She’s got more teeth than anyone he’s ever met, and they’re all perfectly brilliant white and even. And probably razor sharp. Definitely razor sharp. Beautiful and orderly compared to the snaggle-toothed grins of his other friends, and it takes a second, but upon close examination they’re pants-wettingly serious.

Wow. She sure is pretty. Pretty scary. He kind of wants to lick her teeth and kind of wants to beg for mercy. Gosh. Golly. His thinkpan is possibly melting? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!

“Karcrab, it’s so CUT-E watc)(ing you play leader,” she whispers, her billion teeth dangerously close to his auricular sponge. “You’re so GLUBBING ADORABL—-E!!!”

“HA HA.” She wants a rise from him? Fuck that. He’s a born leader and she’s some kind of soft-shelled fanatic, tending the weak, busying herself with helping the helpless. Fuck. Was that a fish pun? He’d like to twist her head off, maybe make her watch how the lower spectrum lives. Fuck her, spending her time helping cuttlefish when there are trolls getting culled all around her, when there are friends going crazy, when he had to live in fear for six sweeps, when people were dying and she was snug in the nasty curls of The Emissary To The Outer Rim. “BLAH BLAH BLAH, QUEEN OF THE HARPIES. WHERE’S YOUR CROWN, YOUR MAJESTY?”

He feels her tense, and she steps closer. Her whole body is pressed against his, and her anger vibrates through each tendon. And yeah. He can feel each tendon. Pressed up against him. It’s maybe not the worst thing that’s happened to him this sweep.

“It’s rig)(t on my )(-EAD, Karcrunch,” she sneers, her teeth against his neck. “RIG)(T W)(-ER-E IT B-ELONGS.” She’s close to drawing blood. Each word scratches against important, essential veins in his neck. Every inch of his skin is hypersensitive now - he can inhale her proximity, he’s trembling at her breath against his neck, and the drag of her teeth against his throat nearly brings him to his knees.

“WELL, EXCUSE ME, PRINCESS.” He’s not going to give her the satisfaction of making him pant, so he’s just going to have to deal with the glittery oxygen-need blackness that is surrounding his vision. She’s a living goddess, he’s an aberration, and he’ll be damned if he lets her see a moment of weakness. “WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU WANT?”

“O)(, Karcatfis)(,” and now she’s fucking purring, creepy shades of Nepeta but steeped in confidence and not desperation. “O)(, Crabcatc)(. I don’t want muc)(.” God, hurry the fuck up, he’s not sure how much longer he can hold his breath. “O)(, Karcuttlefis)(.” God, that one’s a stretch even for her. “I T)(INK I WANT TO FUCK YOU INTO T)(-E WALL.”

Wow.

Fuck.

Holy shame globes.

Yeah, this is not so bad. This is not so bad at all.

“I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, FISHSTICKS,” he manages. Fishsticks? What? That’s not even a thing. Now grubsticks, or even seagrubstick, could have worked. He’s rambling now. He’s about thirty seconds from coming in his pants and her hands are fucking busy and her teeth are still at his throat and he’s yanking her hair and FUCK, he’s panting right into her fin and SHIT she is strong, god damn, he always thought he’d be the initiator of a black romance but if this is what being the acquiescent is like he’s ok, he’s SO ok with this. Her claws are pricking into his back and where did his shirt go? Who knows! Who the fuck cares!

She gazes fondly at the bright blood on her claws, patronizingly, so gracious of the highest highborn to not recoil from the basest mutant. He hates her so much he can taste bile. “WELL AREN’T YOU MAGNANIMOUS, PITY-HATEPAILING THE PATHETIC MUTANT.”

“Karcarp, you s)(ore are dumb!” Her laugh is as glittery and sharp as her teeth, and her breath smells like old blood. “I )(AT———E YOU!! You’re so crappy and you carp and carp over t)(e STUPID-EST S)(IT! It’s UNB-EARABL-E!! If you weren’t such a fun little guppie I’d cull you where you stood!” She shoves her 2x3dent up against his throat and grins. He stares at her fins, at the perfect curve of her insane toothy grin, at the wild hair that could maybe suffocate him? The strong arms that had pinned him, that could hold him down, that are now encircling him, binding him up. She’s got her face super close to his. She’s smiling like she’s the queen of everything.

Come to think of it, she IS the queen of everything.

Well, that’s that, then. The fucking princess hates him. Wow. Gosh.

He really hopes he’ll get to see her with nothing but those horrible glittery Troll Uggs on. God, that’d be hot. He glubbing hates those Uggs.

He glubbing hates Feferi Peixes. This is awesome.


End file.
